This wasn’t the plan
“You ever have nostalgia for a moment while you’re still in it?... Like right now - I’m here - But I’m also thinking about this moment twenty years from now.”
When my undergraduate career was coming to a close in the spring of 2023, I was faced with the question that everyone is asked in the months leading up to getting their diploma…
“What’s next?”
A lot of my peers had no clue, but I was the exception. I had everything figured out.
I was in a committed long-distance relationship and was applying to Communications positions at higher education institutions in Colorado, where I was planning on moving.
I spent months networking and getting interviews for these positions, but for some reason I couldn’t understand at the time, I was having a really difficult time securing an offer.
“You should apply to grad school,” said my ex-boyfriend.
I had never really thought about going to grad school. It meant more loans I’d have to take out, more school (which I wasn’t sure I could endure), and putting the future I was certain of on hold.
But after doing a little research, I found a program that felt perfect for me: Strategic Marketing Communications at Emerson College… in Boston, MA.
I made a deal with myself: I’d apply just for fun. If I got in, I’d consider going. But honestly? I didn’t think I’d get in.
Then the email came. I got in.
Omg omg omg, what the fuck.
“So am I going to grad school now? No, that’s a stupid idea. Think about all the student loans.” I thought to myself.
But in a time in my life when I was almost exclusively recieving rejection, going almost felt like a no brainer.
So, spoiler alert: I decided to get my Master’s.
I remember this time in my life so vividly—probably because so many things ended up changing around me.
In the span of three months, I…
Graduated college
Decided to go to grad school
Ended my two-year-long relationship
Moved to a completely different city
Started my first full-time job
Started grad school
I’m writing this two years later—just one month after graduating from my program—and I can honestly say that I’m grateful that things didn’t go the way I thought they would.
In the 2024 film Saturday Night, Ella Hunt—playing Gilda Radner—says:
“You ever have nostalgia for a moment while you’re still in it?... Like right now - I’m here - But I’m also thinking about this moment twenty years from now.”
This idea that there are moments in life you can feel yourself looking back on, even as they’re still happening.
I haven’t stopped thinking about that line since I heard it.
Since moving to Boston, I’ve found myself living in those moments constantly.
The past two years have made me realize that, as cliché as it feels writing this down, everything must happen for a reason.
Because if my boyfriend and I hadn’t broken up, I would have never gone to Thirsty Thursday at the dive bar across the street from class, where I met so many people who have changed the trajectory of my life.
So many Friends I would have never known. F1 brunch plans never made. AMC A-List movie passes never subscribed to. Life lessons never learned. Concerts never attended.
And a version of myself I would have never become.
This may sound like I’m trying to convince you to go to grad school, but I promise that’s not it.
It’s a reminder that I still have to tell myself today. Sometimes, the best things in life come when your plan falls apart.
